Why is it?

[anewbeginning]

You are now single and only married men seem to notice you? I am wondering if I intimidate the single men. And to top it off the married men are only interested in sleeping with me.. I am just so confused... grrrrr... I mean I have nothing wrong with having sex with a man but I want to feel a little something for him if you know what I mean...

anyone have any answers?

[Lena]

I know what you mean Anew!!
But I don't have the answer!
Does any of the married man want more then just sleeping with you?

[anewbeginning]

I know what you mean Anew!!
But I don't have the answer!
Does any of the married man want more then just sleeping with you?

well there is one who wants a relationship... but I feel like I may be a stepping stone for him.. I think once he realizes that he can do it on his own I will be forgotten.. so I am not too worried about him...

[Lena]

You never know, he may want you to his someone all the time, outside of his marriage!

[anewbeginning]

You never know, he may want you to his someone all the time, outside of his marriage!

he is separating soon... he has told me he wants to go with me when my job moves me... I care about him alot... he is a great guy, but I just am not ready for that... I have expressed this to him....

[Lena]

he is separating soon... he has told me he wants to go with me when my job moves me... I care about him alot... he is a great guy, but I just am not ready for that... I have expressed this to him....

Does he understand?
If this was in a couple of years time and you were ready for that kind of relationship, would he be the right person for you, do you think?

[anewbeginning]

Does he understand?
If this was in a couple of years time and you were ready for that kind of relationship, would he be the right person for you, do you think?

I am not sure he would be the right person for me... he needs to grow up... I like him alot... I really do... but I don't see an ever after with him..

[SassynSweet]

anew.. one thing i've learned.. don't settle now. It's easy when we end a relationship.. we miss the connection.. the sharing.. all the things that were good. It's easy to forget the hard times.. how it felt to be lonely laying next to someone. I settled once.. and it's actually worse than being alone. Today, I'm holding out for the one I want to grow old with. I think we always want the things we don't have.. and the key is to find the patience to wait for it. I've been divorced 19 years! I've had 2 long term relationships in there.. and in both cases .. for a long time, I could see myself growing old with them.... until things changed. Things always change! We take off the rose colored glasses and begin to see each other in their entirity.. good and bad. After awhile, things that didn't bother you when things were "new" .. do! Take your time. A method I choose to live by today is: If I do not HAVE to decide something today, I will wait. Anything can happen tomorrow, so I choose to live one day at a time, in this day only. I will not waste today making decisions that do not need to be made, based on limited information of how i may or may not feel in the future! If you don't need to decide about a relationship today.. let it be. Enjoy your life today and whatever it brings.. decide to be happy. You'll KNOW when the time comes that you need to make that decision. It doesn't sound like you're there now!

[anewbeginning]

Thank you sassy.. I intend to wait.. although I have to admit I am scared to wait... but I will do so.. I am in no hurry to find someone to share my life with.. I need to find out who I am first.. I need to succeed on my own... who knows, maybe one day he will find me and I will be honored to be chosen... until then... I have my friends...

[SassynSweet]

i guarantee you will be changing over the next month or two.. you really need to take that time to find out who you are, and then make changes in yourself to be the person you want to be. It's not so much that relationships hold us back.. but we usually make compromises in order to keep the peace, that we now have options to get back to things we once gave up. explore all your possibilities .. now is the time!

[anewbeginning]

Oh I can feel the change in me. I want to get out and meet people. I am ready to date again, to find a connection. But because of my job I don't want to get too involved either. I may have to move and I am just not willing to subject myself to finding someone I really like only to seperate from them.

No, I am still pushing people away. Trying to protect myself I am sure.

[UltimateNaneki]

You are now single and only married men seem to notice you? I am wondering if I intimidate the single men. And to top it off the married men are only interested in sleeping with me.. I am just so confused... grrrrr... I mean I have nothing wrong with having sex with a man but I want to feel a little something for him if you know what I mean...

anyone have any answers?

Damn I have the same problem...

What is it? Do I have a radar working the opposite? I don't need a married man, I want a man to be all mine. His first thought when he wakes and the only one that makes him smile. It seems very bizzar that the married ones are wanting my attention.

[anewbeginning]

I think the married ones think we are safe for them. Freshly out of a relationship they think we aren't looking for anything new. While I am not looking my feelings take over. All the time.

[Lena]

Yes, feelings are very delicate things, and they just happen without knowing that it is happening 'till too late, maybe!


How is that guy you like, who says he is getting a divorce, Anew?
Still wanting to be with you?

[SassynSweet]

it's funny - the married ones that are interested say it's because I'm single, the ones that aren't say it's because I'm single. Crazy!!

I went to mnf in the beginning because I thought it would be a safe place to trade some attention without getting my feelings involved and hurt. Turns out, it was an even worse hurt in the end.

[anewbeginning]

it's funny - the married ones that are interested say it's because I'm single, the ones that aren't say it's because I'm single. Crazy!!

I went to mnf in the beginning because I thought it would be a safe place to trade some attention without getting my feelings involved and hurt. Turns out, it was an even worse hurt in the end.

I have to agree there. Falling in love with someone on that site made me realize just how vulnerable I was. I wasn't looking for it but it happened. What hurt the most was that he said that he wanted to forget me and how he felt about me. That was a huge blow to me. Shook me to my socks. It was the first time I had ever really been in love and it was the worst relationship I had ever been in. Well, the worst relationship after a certain point. Up to that one point, it was the most amazing feeling.

Okay, drying my tears.

[anewbeginning]

Yes, feelings are very delicate things, and they just happen without knowing that it is happening 'till too late, maybe!


How is that guy you like, who says he is getting a divorce, Anew?
Still wanting to be with you?


He is not getting a divorce. They are workin through it but he still maintains that he wants to be with me. I am letting him go. I think he is just thinking he wants something that is out of his reach. I am not right for him.

[Lena]

He is not getting a divorce. They are workin through it but he still maintains that he wants to be with me. I am letting him go. I think he is just thinking he wants something that is out of his reach. I am not right for him.

You have to do what is right for you!
You don't need any more hassle just to please someone!
Think of you and look after you!

[anewbeginning]

An update on this relationship.. He is not letting go.. He insists that he wants me in his life and that he is managing to keep things under control.. I do like him alot, but only as a friend and I don't want to hurt him.. but I am honest and open with him and he is as well.. so I think our friendship is going to continue...

Now to keep a little search going for someone to date... but I am not looking really hard... I find men but somehow they always end up losing interest.. except my phantom...

[Lena]

As long as he understands it is just friends with you and not more!


Maybe men just get cold fee not knowing exactly where it will lead, or may not be ready for anything serious so they run after some deep thinking!!

[tallguy32]

He just wants to have his cake and eat it too. He can't have you and his relationship with his wife. Stick to your convictions. It'll serve you well

[NotTooGirly]

I have to agree with TG here. Sure, it's possible to love more than one person, but it's not possible to have a life with more than one person - and you are worth someone's whole life if you're going to love them and they're going to love you back.

If you want to be friends and only friends with him, make that extraordinarily clear to him. Twice. And then maybe one more time just for the hell of it. Make it clear to him that you are worth far more than whatever he thinks he can "manage," because you are. Like TG said, don't compromise.

Seriously, I know it sucks to be alone, I know it sucks to feel like no one wants you, but you have to believe that you can get through all of that, because if you don't believe it, you can bet no one else will feel the need to, either.

[tallguy32]

Wow, well said.

[anewbeginning]

yes I know... I have been thinking the same thing... He asks me now all the time, why do I keep pushing him away...

my answer... I care about you very much but hon, you are married and you are not seperating... and i can't afford to allow someone in close and risk my heart being broken again...

he still doesn't get it...

[Wanda Ring]

You are now single and only married men seem to notice you? I am wondering if I intimidate the single men. And to top it off the married men are only interested in sleeping with me.. I am just so confused... grrrrr... I mean I have nothing wrong with having sex with a man but I want to feel a little something for him if you know what I mean...

anyone have any answers?
Good question. I think married men want someone who's in the same or similar situation as they are...they want to have their cake and eat it too (:eek:) they want to play but not be committed to someone...some single guys want to fool around and have fun and not be tied down to one woman....the guys that are single and want to settle down are too few.

I don't think that there is any one answer or why it happens but I think you'll have more luck by joining social groups, volunteering and grocery shopping....I think bars and night clubs are bad places to meet people...most of them are into drinking and partying.

[anewbeginning]

Ohhh I am in a hiking group and have been for almost a year now.. and I do believe I need to volunteer and get out there... but I am done searching for anything... I am just not cut out for this anymore...