Friends

[Lena]

What happens with friends you both shared?
Did they take sides? Are you both still friends with them?
Any changes during seperation and going through a divorce?
Was it/is it easy to make new ones on your own?

[anewbeginning]

the friends we shared were really his friends... they did not take sides.. but they are still his friends..

[Penny]

Thats to bad :(

[Lena]

If they didn't take sides, are they still friends with you?

[anewbeginning]

Yes, they are still my friends also, but we never really talked to begin with. Only when he was around.

I hate to say it but I really had no friends of my own. I still don't.

[Lena]

You are so friendly and lovely Anew!!
You would make friends easily!

[Wanda Ring]

What happens with friends you both shared? I guess it depends on whom they are...most of them are his friends, for whatever reason I let go of all my friends since we hung around his mostly...I don't think he liked mine...I know another control things.

Did they take sides? I think a few will but then they don't know the whole truth...but it doesn't matter since I live so far away from them.

Are you both still friends with them? There are a lot we are both still friends with but I'm ready to move on...new life, new friends, new beginning for me.

Any changes during separation and going through a divorce? Not that I have noticed so far, but I guess time will tell.

Was it/is it easy to make new ones on your own? I'm just starting and since I don't work and I am shy, it is very difficult to meet new people. I am going to be doing some volunteer work a few hours a week to keep myself busy.

[Lena]

That is a shame when all the friends you both know are from one side.

Yes suppose the best way to meet people is to be able to get out, even if it is just to work and volunteering work will also be a good way!
New people to talk with during the day.
All the best with your new life!

[SassynSweet]

over the years, I've lost touch with all the friends we had back then. They pretty much all took sides with him, since it was my idea to divorce, and he was devastated. Says a lot for why I divorced.. he had no clue and never saw it coming.. lol. One of the hardest things is going from doing couples activities to singles. A lot of the couples didn't want to do things as a couple with me.. the guy felt left out as we girl talked etc... so i had single friends for awhile.. then got into a relationship .. and we started doing couples friends things.. that ended.. back to singles.. another relationship .. back to singles.. lol

ugh. this has been a nightmare on friendships!

[Lena]

You are being a yoyo!
Must be difficult to keep switching from couple to singles and back!
Just as you are getting used to one, then it changes again!

[UltimateNaneki]

He had friends and shared them with me,but now I don't have those friends anymore. They were his to start with anyway. Thought my mom was real upset then we were splitting up, I did tell her she could adopt him if she wanted.
My friends are here on line.

[Lena]

He must have made a good impression!
But suppose your mom didn't have to live with him!

[UltimateNaneki]

Yes he is a very nice person...he is a better friend then a husband.

[Lena]

It is good that you are still friends with him!

[Midlifecrazy]

I am lucky in that I have always had a pretty good network of friends. He, on the other hand, has always been much less social and as such had few friends. We still share a couple of friends that don't appear to have taken sides. Personally, I make friends very easily so I am not worried about making more friends in the future. You can't ever have too many friends or too much money. Since I am having to go into serious debt to get this divorce, won't ever have too much money so hopefully I can have more friends....should be a litle cheaper. LOL

[anewbeginning]

Yes he is a very nice person...he is a better friend then a husband.


Yep, I feel the same way. Mine is also a better friend than he was at being my husband.

[anewbeginning]

ok, what about friends you made after...

I have had a few and because I did not get romantically involved with them and someone else did they quit talking to me.. why is this?

I am sorry but I am trying to find myself right now, I need friends and not lovers... I am just hoping to keep the friends I have made... then I feel like I can't talk to them because they are in a relationship now.. it is really frustrating to me...

I miss the friendships I had. I know I should just let it go.. not worry about them but I really feel we had a good friendship.. I don't mind that they are happy with someone, I am happy for them, I just want to talk to them like we used to...

ugh... do I make sense?

[Penny]

It seems alot of men dont want friends, they want a quick fling and then off to the next one :(

[anewbeginning]

Yes I have to say it is what that seems like. So far I am finding that the men I meet are married and want another woman to take care of their needs... and nothing more...

[Penny]

Just dont settle.

[SassynSweet]

no.. settling never works for long. It might get you through the moment.. but it usually leaves you worse off!

[NotTooGirly]

What happens with friends you both shared?

We really didn't share friends, mainly because I find it's difficult for most people to deal with making friends of the opposite sex once one (or both) of them are married or involved. It's ridiculous, I know, but that's been my experience. When you start out on equal footing (both single) or in a dating relationship I've found it's much easier for most people to make a jump from that to a friendship. Which sucks for me, because there are a couple of "his" friends that I'd enjoy getting to know better on a friendly level, but I know it's not going to happen.


Was it/is it easy to make new ones on your own?

I've never made friends easily, probably largely due to my own personality...I think the socially-acceptable way to describe it is that I am "an acquired taste." ;) Most of the people I call my friends at the moment don't live near me, making things a bit tricky as far as support and communication. So I'm going to be getting out more, taking part in a few groups that interest me, and see where that goes. It probably doesn't help that I tend to gravitate towards male friends, either, which complicates the situation, but that's just the way it is. I'm looking forward to becoming better friends with my soon-to-be ex-husband, too; I see us as far more successful as friends than as husband & wife. As the saying goes, watch this space. :)

[Lena]

Love the "acquired taste"! Must mean you are just wonderful!!
I get on better with male friends, but I do have female friends too!
All the best with your future relationship with your soon to be ex!

[anewbeginning]

good for you girly!!!

I took up hiking and I try to get out at least once every other month for a hike... I go with a local group or a friend I met online... but I never go alone.. I also am joining a quilting guild... just some women who I can quilt with.. who will challenge me..

[Lena]

Do you think Salsa dance classes are a good place to meet people?

[Dippy]

Oh, let me just delve into my knowledge of dancing so I can answer that!

Hmmm...I'd say private Salsa lessons are a good idea! Depends on the partner!

[Lena]

Well if they can dance a little would be a good start!