Any Regrets

[LadyMoon]

Do you have any regrets about how things have turned out? If you had another change to go back and re-do anything.. what would it be? Would you still get married? Would you have tried harder? Is there something you wish you had said or done differently?

[tallguy32]

I wouldn't have gotten married. I would not have sold my house. The realestate market here has more than doubled since when I bought my house. There is no way I'll be afford to buy a home here in the next 10 years. At the same time I don't really belong tied to a mortgage.

[LadyMoon]

I would have gotten married.. and I would have been more open and honest about my feelings, about what I wanted and needed from him. I also would have pushed more for the things I wanted.. especially "couple time" with my husband. I alienated myself by assuming his lack of enthusiasm for my ideas meant that he did not care about me.

I regret the secrets I kept... developing friendships outside of my marriage that were inappropriate. I regret lying, because even small ones grow into larger ones and then you don't remember what you even said anymore. I regret losing his trust.

I regret all the complaining I did about him, it only held me back. I regret how much I hurt him. I regret losing him. :(

[NotTooGirly]

I wouldn't have gotten married either time I did, but I have no real regrets about them - they were experiences I needed to go through to get me to the place I'm at today. What happened was that I married before I knew myself and felt comfortable enough to share my life and become a part of someone else's. I didn't know how to become intimate with another person on the emotional levels needed to form a true partnership - so even though I patently chose poorly, I had just as much of a hand in the outcomes.

While I wouldn't do anything differently, the more I discover about myself and what I want I realize I cannot say unequivocally that marriage doesn't work for me...so while it didn't work in the past, I no longer feel that I can say it wouldn't work for me in the future.

[LadyMoon]

That is a very positive outlook, NTG. :)

Tall, it is clear that you are not ready to settle down.. maybe you never will be and it's good that you are being true to yourself.

I still feel I would have married.. i was not a spring chicken when I did and I was ready for that phase of my life for sure. I think we have both changed since then, and I wish we had grown together, instead of grown apart.

[Wanda Ring]

I have many regrets in my life, but there are only four that I'd really like to go back and change if I could...

1. Tell my sister having her stomach stapled will kill her!

2. Tell my sister she needs to stop being an asshole and take better care of herself and her son!

3. Wait to get married to someone I love and not at such a young age!

4. Have a baby

[socialgirl73]

I would have gotten married.. and I would have been more open and honest about my feelings, about what I wanted and needed from him. I also would have pushed more for the things I wanted.. especially "couple time" with my husband. I alienated myself by assuming his lack of enthusiasm for my ideas meant that he did not care about me.

I regret the secrets I kept... developing friendships outside of my marriage that were inappropriate. I regret lying, because even small ones grow into larger ones and then you don't remember what you even said anymore. I regret losing his trust.

I regret all the complaining I did about him, it only held me back. I regret how much I hurt him. I regret losing him. :(

Very well put...thank you for sharing...:)

[socialgirl73]

That is a very positive outlook, NTG. :)

Tall, it is clear that you are not ready to settle down.. maybe you never will be and it's good that you are being true to yourself.

I still feel I would have married.. i was not a spring chicken when I did and I was ready for that phase of my life for sure. I think we have both changed since then, and I wish we had grown together, instead of grown apart.


My feelings mirror LM...I think I would have eventually gotten married to someone, if not my ex-husband. I learned a lot about myself through the process. Whether or not I get married again depends on my evolution as a divorced, single mom...

[LadyMoon]

Thanks, Social. that is nice to hear. I guess the bottom line or message is that we really should not have any "regrets" as we should learn through the mistakes we made and grow because of them. If we don't learn from them.. we are destined to make them over and over. :(

We go through phases in life. A friend of mine and I have discussed it before, where you are young and you are into fashion, boys, teen beat, etc.. you get engaged and it's bridal shows and magazines.. if you get pregnant then it's all about that... when marriage starts to suck, we buy books about fixing it, try to change our partner and try to fill our lives so we wont be so lonely. If the marriage fails, then it's onto new stuff, isn't it??

Life is all phases.. I feel as though I have lived my emotional life a bit recklessly all my life. I did not value it as much as I do now. I feel "mature" for the first time ever, and I hope it lasts. As much as I do want to fix things up with my husband and make my marriage work, I know that I have to focus on my needs as well, in a positive way.. not though insecurity and blame.

[anewbeginning]

Not a single regret, except that I didnt insist on family vacations...

I would do it differently and live my life if given a chance... but I do not regret anything I have done..

[Lena]

We do sometimes look back and regret doing something, like not waiting longer before settling down to marriage!
But also there normally is something we wouldn't have done without such as the children which came from the relationship!

Wonder how long people do harbour regrets, does it continue to the rest of their lives or 'till they meet someone new, "the real one"! Or what?

[socialgirl73]

None...at all.....

[Lena]

It is good for our present life if it is possible not to harbour regrets!